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Great Satire on Gay Penguins

June 20, 2009

The Portland Press Herald (Maine) ran a clever letter to the editor on same sex penguins.  It’s really a great piece of satire–and I love that it was printed along with serious letters about the push to overturn same sex marriage.

Yet again, the left-leaning liberal bias of this newspaper rears its ugly head! Your reporting recently of gay penguins at the Berlin Zoo who have adopted an abandoned chick simply crosses the line of objective reporting.

Clearly, the Bible is against this kind of gay penguin parenting. As penguins mate for life, any kind of same-sex partnership is an abomination in the eyes of God. What’s next, gay penguin marriage?

Although I can’t put my finger on a penguin-specific passage in my King James, I can certainly put a spin on one to make it clear that this is unacceptable. These penguins, who have chosen this lifestyle (penguins make a conscious decision on their sexual orientation, so don’t believe that nature baloney), need to repent and release that chick they have adopted to a “traditional” couple. Never mind the fact that an opposite-sex couple abandoned this chick.

In the future, please try to represent traditional penguin family values, as this story is helping to destroy the sanctity of penguin marriages everywhere.

Peter M. Coyne


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